To look at me now, it is obvious that I am an all around nonconformist, but I have not always been this way. In fact, my ability to give no f*** is a newly developed skill.

It all started when I had my first child at the age of thirty. Prior to parenthood, I labored to meet social norms. I labored to fit in; although, I never quite managed to do so. Once my son was born, I finally began to realize that my tendency to diverge from normative practice was innate, programmed in my DNA.

My son has always been hyper-reactive to sensory stimuli. I, too, am hyper-reactive to sensory stimuli. Our combined hyper-reactivity created conditions that led to bedsharing as a regular sleep practice. Of course, this is a highly stigmatized practice here in the U.S., so the decision to do a stigmatized thing with intention did not come easily to me.

Nevertheless, it ushered in a decade of truth seeking and an inevitable declaration of autonomy in the face of socially constructed authority. Following my decision to bedshare came my break from religion, quirky hairstyles, tattoos, and ultimately, the awareness of my own neurodivergence. This has been the greatest gift of all.

In the following video, I recall the beginning of everything…

About Author

Standing ground for desire through self-study of philosophy and psychoanalysis, self-reflection, and creative sublimation through the work of literary fiction.

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