Showing: 1 - 10 of 22 RESULTS

The Good, The Bad, and The In Between

Now that I’ve committed to the decision to bow out of the TikTok community, I have begun (as per my typical response to opportunities terminated) to deconstruct the entire experience. With that said, I created a video for IGTV and YouTube that explains how I achieved success on the platform, and why I refuse to continue doing what is necessary in order to sustain that form of success.

The Dollhouse

As an autistic person, I often struggle to understand the origins of my feelings, in spite of the fact that they overwhelm me. Creating content like this helps me understand myself better. It helps me to reframe the narrative of my experience, contextualizing all within the landscape of family dysfunction, and the disconnect between my experience and my parents’ perception of me.

So you Love someone who is Neurodivergent…How do you do it Well?

I too long wobbled along the tight rope between the will of my parents (which, let’s face it, is really very neuro-normative in nature) and my natural instincts. Before having children, the only victim of my deference was myself. Now, however, the stakes are higher. When faced with a choice to honor the will of my parents versus my own, I’ve historically chosen their will. As a parent, the choice to honor my will extends to my children. In other words, my will is to offer my children grace and mercy–to love them without condition. In contrast, the will of my parents is to have grandchildren that behave like little angels, to have interactions with their child (me) and grandchildren without opposition. Yet when a child is neurodivergent, behaviors often erupt, which closely resemble defiance or rebellion. When alone with my children, I mollify these behaviors through empathic response, but when my parents are around, I feel external pressure to hide these behaviors, or quash them, for the sake of my parents’ comfort. As you can see, the result is betrayal; first, of myself; next, of my kids.

Basic Mental Health: Magical Thinking

Magical thinking is the belief that unrelated events affect each other, when there is no causal relationship between them. Superstitions, such as the following, are obvious examples; Don’t step on a crack, or you’ll break your mama’s back! Religious rituals are no different. As a young Christian, I believed that saying certain prayers or repeating certain scriptures would prevent bad things from happening to me and those I loved.

DDS: OCD and Shame

When I was 12, my family was a battlefield. The three other members were embroiled in contentious arguments, while I played (or attempted to play) the role of peacemaker. Because I considered myself the family diplomat, I repressed anger and rage.