*Titleby is a pseudonym for a local gated community. While not all moms in Titleby are Titleby Moms, enough of them are to warrant this post. For further clarification, a Titleby Mom is a special kind of Karen. You’ll know her when you see her.*


I’ve had my fill of Titleby moms.

Big spenders during all the major (and minor) gifting occasions, they aggressively organize collections for teacher gifts, fundraisers for the PTA, and their kids are always the ones that bring in the most extravagant, crafted goody bags when it’s time for classroom exchanges. Yet they collectively forestalled the construction of nearby apartment housing because they didn’t want those residents to gain easy access to their community clubhouse, nor did they want those kids to occupy seats at their schools.

Thus, when it comes to pitching in for the “greater good,” they are entirely on board, so long as the demographics of the greater represent their brand of good. Pooling resources is only attractive insofar as they directly benefit from the transaction. Likewise, they withhold no judgment from those who fail to contribute, or do so sparingly because the responsibility must then fall to them to make up the difference, so as to ensure that the teacher gifts, the classroom goodies, the school resources, meet their expectations.

Self motivated generosity parades as authentic altruism. Don’t let it fool you. All of it is meant to elevate social status and enable continued exclusivity–gatekeeping–of the upper echelon.

What would happen if one might suggest a redistribution of resources, by means of increased taxes, to these charitable Titleby moms?! They’d shut and stow their purses in a second, I am certain. 

I’m sorry to say that the Titleby moms are more concerned with power and control than they are with community service. By contributing private funds, in ample endowments, they claim ownership and leverage over those people, organizations, and communities to which they choose to sponsor. As a result, their whims have the power to shift dynamics of entire municipalities. 

I’ve often heard my father say that poor people are looking for government handouts and entitlements because they don’t want to work for their money (like he did). He couldn’t tolerate his hard earned cash increasing a less fortunate person’s quality of life. “I worked for it. It’s mine. They want it? They have to work for it!”

The problem with the brand of generosity promenaded by Titleby moms is that it benefits no one but themselves. It’s giving on the terms of the gifter. Rooted in the very entitlement they project into the poor, their gifts bow under the burden of condition. The privileged elite believes their wages are a fair price for their labor, and the consequence of this faith–in the congruence of their worth to their recompense–is that they also believe the wages of the poor accurately reflect the value of their labor.

This is among the pernicious fallacies of capitalism.

I celebrate today’s inauguration of President Elect Joe Biden for this reason: I’ve hope that he’ll follow through on his promises to the best of his ability. I’ve hope that his White House will develop programs meant to truly cultivate a greater good, and with that said, I welcome higher taxes. I am more than happy to make small sacrifices on my part, so my neighbors can have room to exhale. Because I don’t believe the worth of our labor is congruent to that of our wages, and I desire a healthier community more than my own individual gain.

By the way, what the fuck kind of humans take issue with that?!

About Author

Standing ground for desire through self-study of philosophy and psychoanalysis, self-reflection, and creative sublimation through the work of literary fiction.

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